Things We Never Say
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Up on the roof, Niles and Daphne share sunscreen, stories and maybe more? AU take on the ending of "Frasier Gotta Have It".
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: Things We Never Say**

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**A/N**: This is several ideas rolled up into one so I don't know what it is and I have no idea what'll come out of it. I hope you read (and review) anyway. Set right after "Frasier Gotta Have it".

* * *

Up on the roof, he realized this was a new kind of low even for him. Niles stood there lurking, staring as Daphne prepared to sunbathe. As of yet, she had not seen him. He tried to think of an excuse why he was up here as well. When she told him where she was headed, he hadn't made any indication as to whether he wanted to go up on the roof as well. He could tell her Frasier wasn't home and so he had wondered if he couldn't spend some time with her. A great idea, Niles thought, but he didn't know if Frasier was home or not. As always, he had followed his hormones and not his reasons. He watched Daphne open her robe and immediately he felt the effect this simple act had on him. Luckily, she was not naked underneath. He would have fainted for sure. His eyes were glued to her form, all the while knowing what he was doing was wrong. So very, very wrong.

"Dr. Crane?" Niles' heart stopped beating for the fraction of a second. His amygdala was screaming at him to get the hell away from there. Coordination, unfortunately, had never been his strong suite and he tripped in his attempt to flee.

"Did you want to sunbathe, too? Why didn't you say something!" Daphne laughed and waved him over. For a moment Niles considered her offer. He didn't want to sunbathe; did she not know how dangerous it was? Mentioning skin cancer seemed the wrong way to go however.

"I-I-I wanted to check if you brought sunscreen." Another word out of him and he was certain of a nose bleed.

"Of course I did, Dr. Crane. You asked me a couple of minutes ago, remember?"

"Right." He giggled uncomfortably.

"Are you alright, Dr. Crane? You look, well, hot." Blood rose in his cheeks. Daphne had just called him 'hot'. Most likely not in the context he was thinking, but it didn't matter. The words had left her mouth. Her beautiful, delicious, inviting mouth. There was no denying it: Niles felt hot indeed.

"I guess I am."

"Well, come on then. I brought a book up here but I'd rather talk to you." Niles beamed at her as he took off his jacket. Immediately, he felt a gentle breeze hit him. He was still too warm though.

"You're not dressed for this weather, Dr. Crane." Daphne commented on his obvious discomfort. She seemed to feel no shame at all sitting there in those shorts and the shadow of a shirt over it. Niles wondered what she was wearing underneath – bathing suit or bikini. If he wasn't careful, he would faint. And not just from the suns heat.

"I guess I'm not." Thinking about it, he was wearing an undershirt. He couldn't possibly... could he?

"Don't you just love the sun?" Daphne said, lifting her head into the warm rays that reflected her hair in a multiple array of colors. He saw glimpses of red and brown as if playing some sort of hide and seek. Niles had always loved her hair, particularly its smell. The colors he saw now just added to its beauty. His mouth opened as if to say something, but he didn't find any words.

"Sit down, Dr. Crane. You look lost standing up like this." There was no place to sit. Daphne saw him search and so she spread out her bathrobe on the ground for him. Niles looked shocked. All the dirt and the germs! Niles thought of the pigeons living up here and his face turned into a grimace.

"Don't worry. That's what laundry is for. Just sit." The look she gave him could almost be described as stern and so he obeyed. As soon as he felt the softness of the bathrobe beneath him and her scent wafting into his nose, he relaxed.

"It's beautiful up here." Niles admitted, looking around. Certainly it was a landscape built of concrete, but it was quiet. Almost romantic in its very own, specific way.

"It really is. That talk we had earlier, I couldn't shake it off. I felt like coming up here." Niles remembered her confessions vividly. He tried not to let them get to him – anymore. His imagination had run wild after her recount. Roz' admission of having had purely physical relationships had not surprised Niles at all, but he had never thought Daphne would embark on such a relationship. He realized there were things about her he didn't yet know. He wanted to know everything. Even if it surprised him like this information had.

"I hope I'm not interrupting a date with some nameless Adonis." His laugh was as awkward as he felt.

"No, I know his name." Daphne told him in a serious voice. Niles' head shot up and when his shocked eyes met hers, her lips turned up into a smile and she laughed.

"I-I'm sorry, I'll leave."

"Dr. Crane, it was a joke! I meant _you_." Her hand touched his shoulder softly. The heat from her body went right through his shirt. For a moment he considered taking his shirt off. He really was too warm. Comments like the one she'd just made didn't help matters. He forced a smile, feeling relieved. He tried to relax again, but it wasn't easy. Then it hit him what she had said exactly. Did she think of him as sexy? Or had the heat finally melted his brain?

"I'm no knight in shining armor. Or the tall handsome stranger." Niles admitted with just a touch of defeat in his voice.

"You can be me knight in shining armor any day, Dr. Crane. If you'd please apply some sunscreen on me back? I'm afraid I don't bend that way." Her words didn't register right away. When they did, he blushed. Not only what she said had an effect on him, but she wanted him to touch her. Albeit in an innocent, friendly way but to Niles it seemed like a dream come true.

"Of course, I'd love to help." If she only knew how much. Well, she probably wouldn't let him touch her then.

"Thanks, Dr. Crane." Daphne took of her shirt and Niles gasped. She wasn't wearing a bathing suit after all; it was a bikini. Just like in her story. The heat overwhelmed Niles. He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, as much as it disgusted him. He didn't want to touch Daphne with sweaty hands. He was going to touch her beautiful, soft skin with only a layer of sunscreen between them. His hands were shaking as he drew closer. Before he touched her, he let the moment sink in. He had touched her many times before. Once, he had even kissed her. They had hugged many times. She had kissed his cheek. Daphne had applied liniment to his back before. For Niles this was it; almost like a milestone. This was more intimate, more sexual to him than any of the stories Roz, Frasier and even Daphne had talked about. Because he loved her. He was physically attracted to her – more than he'd ever been attracted to anyone before – but there was more. It wasn't just the attraction he felt for her that constantly drew him to her. At first, he couldn't deny that, it was her appearance – and her difference from all the women he had ever known. From Maris in particular. The warmth that persistently circled her like a shield and her care for everyone around her, including him, had caused him to fall in love with her. Not the delicious smell of her hair, or her deep brown eyes. The sound of her voice and her laughter. The way she would playfully hit him. The way she treated him, period.

"Dr. Crane, did you fall asleep?" Niles snapped out of it. He didn't know how long he had lost himself in his musings. Long enough for Daphne to catch him. Sometimes he wondered if she thought of him as slow, despite his obvious intelligence. When he was around her, he forgot almost all laws of nature. All except her.

"I'm sorry. I just studied the ingredients and of course the strength of the sunscreen. You know some isn't really effective." He babbled on as his fingers finally made contact with her skin. His eyes closed as if in pain. Niles tried to suppress a moan. Her skin felt like silk under his hands.

"Hmm, I know. But it's your brother's. I figured he'd buy the good stuff." Her voice sounded dreamy; as if she were enjoying herself. Niles knew he certainly was. Maybe even too much. The application soon turned into a massage. There was no more sunscreen on his hands to spread. Her skin had absorbed it all. Still, he couldn't take his hands off of her.

"Feels good." Daphne murmured. Niles nodded his head to himself. After all, she couldn't see him behind her. Then she giggled unexpectedly. Niles stopped for a moment, then his hands resumed as if on autopilot. He really couldn't stop touching her.

"What's so funny?" Women laughing when you touched them was never a good sign as Niles remembered. He felt the familiar taste of humiliation. To distract himself he put some more sunscreen on his hands. The lotion was cold on his now warm hands.

"This reminds me of me story earlier." Niles stopped rubbing his hands together and stared at Daphne's back. Such a beautiful back. Suddenly, she turned to him as if she had expected him to give a reply. He felt caught and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I think me back is done now." Niles stared at the sunscreen left in his hands. His own skin wasn't exposed enough to use it.

"Oh..." In an act of spontaneity, Niles put his hands over her arms. Daphne gasped in surprise and watched as he applied the cream on her arms. In soft motions he started at her shoulders and worked his way down to her wrists. When he touched a particular sensitive spot, Daphne let out a soft moan. Niles stared up at her, his eyes widened in shock. He hardly dared to think it, but was this turning her on? Was _he_?

"This reminds me of," Daphne stopped, her voice sounding breathless. "Of that day when I came over to your house. Remember? The fight I had with Sherry. Uh, that woman! It was also so... uhm, warm." Niles remembered. It was a night he would always remember, because she had chosen him. She had chosen to come to him in her distress. That night, she had not only been haunted by distress. He remembered that as well. There was an unspoken agreement between them never to mention what had almost happened. Niles couldn't deny that he had thought about this night a few times. A lot of times. He didn't understand why she thought about it now. Except for the warmth, there were no similarities.

"Uh, I... well, yeah I remember."

"You know that could have been your story." Daphne said suggestively.

"Wh-What?"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, I mean if we'd gone through with it. I mean." Niles stumbled away from Daphne and came dangerously close to the edge of the roof. He didn't see where he was going. He knew they had come close that night, but what Daphne was saying was... they would have had slept together. She didn't even seem coy about it. He couldn't read her expression; then again, he was too excited to grasp anything around him at that moment. His skin prickled uncomfortably and he wished he could just take his shirt off. Daphne on the other hand misinterpreted the situation. Enormously.

"But I guess that wouldn't have been steamy enough. This could be your steamy romance." She giggled awkwardly and made a vague hand gesture around the roof. Niles was close to falling – or fainting. Off the roof or onto the concrete ground at his feet. This couldn't be happening. She was making fun of him, he realized. She had to be. Niles couldn't say anything, because his mind was still hung up on what she'd said first. That night, one year ago. 'If we had gone through with it'. The words sounded like an angelic chorus. Then again they hadn't. The soft melody in his head disappeared as quickly as it had come. They hadn't gone through with it. Niles looked at the woman he adored and saw her exposed – almost completely – in front of him. Her beauty rattled him, made him hyperventilate. And the possibilities. The lost one and the one she had just handed him. If she'd been serious and he couldn't believe it. There was a reason why they hadn't succumbed to their feelings one year ago. How had Frasier put it? 'Unconsciously you knew that it wasn't right.' As so often and to Niles' great dismay, his big brother had been right. He could dream about that night, make up any kind of happy ending. A steamy, breathtaking ending. The reality was that it never could have happened. It would have been sex. Just pure, animalistic sex. The same one they had all talked about earlier. A bitter taste manifested itself in Niles' mouth. Was she proposing something like that? Here? And now?

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Dr. Crane." Daphne apologized. Her face was reddish. Niles couldn't decide whether it was due to the sun's heat or something else.

"You didn't," upon which she rolled her eyes at him; at least a mannerism he recognized, "Well, yeah you did. I guess I never realized... how serious you were that night."

"We never talked about it, did we?" Daphne no longer looked at him. Her eyes were roaming the roof as if she was searching for the right words. Or the right solution to this awkward situation they had put themselves in. It had just happened. Just like that night hadn't happened. A little mishap, nothing more.

"No, we didn't." He answered softly. He couldn't look anywhere but at her. A very gentle breeze was touching her skin, the same places he had touched her not too long ago. Niles wondered how they could have gone from a sweet moment to this uncomfortable distance between them. As a psychiatrist he knew avoidance only made things worse.

"You know it's one thing when the other person is a stranger. It's different if it's a dear friend." Somehow Niles felt she wasn't talking to him. It was as if she were trying to convince herself. But of what? He wondered. His compassion urged him to go closer, maybe even touch her. In a purely platonic way. His feet didn't move though. So he continued to watch her. As he always did.

"I'm glad we didn't go through with it. I mean we're friends." Niles said.

"We are, but..." Daphne trailed off. His whole life hung on a simple word, on a simple uncertainty. She didn't continue. Niles waited and waited. To him it seemed like an eternity even if he realized how stupid that was.

"But what?" He finally blurted when he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. He needed to know what she was thinking about. About all of this. Whatever this was, because he himself wasn't sure.

"Nothing, Dr. Crane. I don't want to make you uncomfortable again." Niles couldn't believe what he was hearing. Inside he screamed 'make me feel uncomfortable!', but the words wouldn't come.

"It was stupid of me to even mention it. I'd understand if you didn't want to stay here with me." There was a profound sadness in her voice that surprised Niles. Something was troubling her. He couldn't leave her like that. His ethics as a psychiatrist wouldn't let him and his love for her wouldn't either. Finally, he dared to draw a little closer to her. She turned her head to look at him, but he couldn't read her expression.

"It wasn't stupid. I guess I was surprised, because we never talked about it." Niles knew why he had never talked about it: fear, shame and even guilt had rattled him afterwards. He didn't know why she had never mentioned it though. Or why she had felt like mentioning it now.

"There are so many things we never talk about." Daphne mumbled. In an attempt to catch each and every word, Niles walked closer. He wasn't sure if he had understood her correctly. In a way he was too scared to ask her. Just in case she had said something else. Or because she hadn't. Niles wasn't sure anymore. Of anything.

"What did you say?" He whispered. If he whispered like she had then maybe... maybe it changed something about all of this. Niles was so close to her that he could smell the sunscreen on her skin. A soft, warm scent. It relaxed him; reminded him of earlier when she let him touch her. Daphne all but jumped from her chair and it almost overturned from the sudden movement.

"I'm glad we didn't... last year. But for a moment just now I wasn't so sure. Last year when I came to the Montana and was a little, you know, I thought maybe you'd finally... say something."

"Say something?" Daphne turned to him, a contemplative expression on her face. She worried her bottom lip and it distracted Niles.

"Dr. Crane, do you have feelings for me?"

Niles wondered if it was too late to faint. Or flee. Or both.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is the last part and as I've feared this story has nothing to do with what I originally planned to write. I sincerely hope you liked it anyway. And thanks each and every one of your for your reviews :)

* * *

There were several ways to go. He could fake fainting from the heat. By now he was sure he had sunburn on his head anyway. It would be easy. He thought about running past her. It would solve nothing. The last possibility was the truth. Niles didn't know what he thought about that. His mind seemed empty. How had they arrived here, at this point? Of course it was his own fault; he shouldn't have followed her. He shouldn't have touched her. He shouldn't have... fallen in love with her.

"Dr. Crane?" Daphne's voice was soft and she expected an answer from him. Niles was not ready though.

"What makes you think that?" It came out terribly wrong. He could tell from Daphne's expression that she was hurt. And ashamed. That had not been his plan at all.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Crane. I- I guess I misunderstood something. I better start reading me book before..." She didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to anyway. There was no answer. She wanted him to leave, because he had hurt her. Hurting her was never what he wanted. All Niles wanted was to take her into his arms and tell her how much she meant to him. Not that he actually would tell her.

"No, don't feel sorry. I was just – how? How?" His lack of eloquence made Daphne smile. She smiled! And Niles' mood seemed to improve. He almost smiled back at her, but before he could her face turned serious again.

"After that incident at the Montana last year, I- I started to notice things. And well, you. How you sometimes smell me hair. Or look at me differently. At first I thought I was imagining things! Well, maybe I was and – "

"Never. I mean you weren't imagining it." Niles offered gently. He had never known. All the time he thought she was oblivious to his affections and she hadn't been. Then it hit him; she had never said anything. Had never asked him to stop. She had never encouraged him either.

"Oh good." Niles waited for her to continue but she didn't. Good? What did she mean and why didn't she tell him?

"So, uhm, we're good?" He asked, uncertain how to proceed in this situation.

"Well," Daphne began and Niles felt uneasy. Thoughts ran through his head; if he had alienated her, his father would never forgive him. Frasier wouldn't either. Roz would probably find something to say about it as well.

"I don't feel good. It's too hot to feel good."

"What?" That didn't make any sense, Niles thought. Had he missed a part of this conversation due to his excessive musing? He didn't think he had.

"You liked me story earlier, didn't you? Me, the stranger on the roof... " Niles stared at her, speechless. She hadn't just noticed his clumsy advances, she had noticed that as well. He was screwed.

"It was – well, informative."

"I was wondering... you didn't come up here to-?" She didn't say the words, but her eyes did. Niles felt like this was the right moment to faint. The only logical action at the moment. But it didn't happen. He felt the sweat roll off his forehead.

"No!"

"Then why did you come up here?" Since Daphne knew about his feelings, or fractions of his feelings anyway, there was no more denying it. Lying would have been risky anyway, since even the slightest trickle of blood would surely break him.

"I wanted to spend time with you?"

"Silly me. I thought you wanted to re-enact me story from earlier."

"Daphne, what's wrong with you?" Niles asked; he wasn't sure if he was worried or simply confused. She had never been like this. He almost didn't recognize her. This wasn't the Daphne he knew.

"You think you know me, Dr. Crane. But you don't." Her voice wasn't aggressive or angry. She was merely stating a fact. A fact that shocked Niles. He knew he didn't know everything about her: her story earlier had proved that.

"I'm sorry, Daphne, I didn't mean to imply-" Daphne shook her head no. Slowly she approached him.

"That's not what I meant. If you do have feelings for me and you never answered that question..." She paused, looked up at him and Niles swallowed hard. He nodded carefully, too afraid to spoil this moment with a word, or even a syllable.

"Then I would want you know _me_ before we do anything... else." Words bubbled up inside of Niles. Confessions of undying love for her and how he loved every piece, every tiny aspect of her. He didn't say any of these things. She was right. He didn't know these things, not all of them. Like she didn't know everything about him. Looking into her sparkling eyes, he was certain she had more to tell him than the other way around. He wished they had met earlier. He wished she had never dated any unappreciative loser before him. Date him. Niles beamed at her. Suddenly there was a possibility that had never been as palpable as it was at that moment. He realized he had not said a word yet.

"I want to know you, too. Even though I feel like I do already." Niles admitted.

"Maybe," Daphne's smile was warm; warmer than then sun that had definitely caused a sunburn on his head, "But I want to make sure you know me. All of me." Her voice was suggestive once again. This time it was less subtle and Niles wondered, couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen next.

"So, you don't want to re-enact me story? You sure about that?" She grinned at him. A physical relationship with Daphne hung in the air like a dangling carrot. All Niles had to do was grab it. There was something holding him back though.

"Hypothetically let's say I do, then what if it doesn't work out, what if we-" Daphne put a finger on his lips. So soft, so gentle. So lovingly. Niles no longer even wanted to speak and voice any doubts or possible obstacles.

"If we don't work out? I've been watching you for the past five years Dr. Crane. I've seen you treat women. Even your wife. There's no way – no way this could not work. You're not some stranger on the roof. You're my friend and hopefully more than that," She blushed. Niles figured that no matter what she had said earlier, he did know her. He felt it. Moments like this, he was certain he did. And the rest he would find out. They had time to find out.

"So how about you take off your shirt," Niles raised his eyebrow and Daphne laughed, "and you let me put sunscreen all over you. While I'm doing that we can... talk." She gently kissed the corner of his mouth. Not on the cheek, because they were past the friend stage. Not quite on the mouth – yet, because they still weren't ready. But they were on their way.

"Sounds absolutely perfect."

**END**


End file.
